queen of the robots
 


Monday, January 31

Hey, Beamer! Hey, Skittle!

An email from Mia...

Yeah. Now it'll be like floating around in cyberspace but oh well! Yeah, so ummmmmmmmmm.....I better go do my math hw. Okay, well I'll e-mail you again soon! OMJ, I have a science test Wed. about like vertibrates and invertibrates and human reproduction and stuff! She didn't even teach us a lot about human reproduction! She was just like, "since you guys probably already know about reproduction, you can just take this little test I planned for you" and then she like divides us up into a group of girls and a group of boys and gives each group clay and balloons and pipe cleaners and a list of human reproductive organs of the opposite sex and tells us to make every thing on the list (this was for the opposite sex mind you) and then present it to the other group...........our penis was originally a balloon, but then it popped and we had to use this skinny little piece of clay, so it turned out very disproportionate ( is that even a word??) It was rather amusing! soooooo that was pretty fun! I'm sure you really wanted to hear all that too! Oh well.....I really should go now! Okay, Bye! ---Mia xoxoxo

Gah, that was funny! And this hilarious quote from Aleks...

Aleks: What are you trying to do?
Me: Pole dance.
Aleks: Oh, that's easy!
Me: What?!
Aleks: I mean, not that I would know or anything...

And did I mention? It was Eli's birthday on the 30th! (Aka yesterday!) Gawd, I'm terrible for not mentioning it. Or maybe I did? Whatever, I don't feel like going back and checking, soo...here it is!

[listening to: "Clint Eastwood" Gorillaz]


1 can bleed like me
9:27 PM



Ha ha ha. No.

Some people are amazingly stupid. I'll give some of the unpopular kids at the school credit; they know when they're not wanted, and that makes them more appealing to talk to than those ANNOYING people who think they're wanted and popular, and follow you everywhere. And then your friends are so nice, you're like, "Why the fuck are they so nice?! Those le-hoo-zers!" Sorry, I had to rant about that. Does anybody else have those totally annoying losers that follow you everywhere because they think you're their friend (granted, I'm totally the coolest person like, ever!), and you feel mean to reject them? (Or you don't feel mean to reject them, so you do?)

I just had to make that little rant, because now that David Arslanian sits up front in math, he never ever shuts up! It pisses me off sooo much, I really can't take it. Before it was ok, because he sat by the window and I was always able to be like, "Shut the fuck up!" but in my mind, ya know? Although I guess it's good that I sit with people that hate him also - aka, Cara. Cara hates him more than I do, which suprises me. Although sometimes I get so angry at him that I mix up my words so that it sounds like I say something different than what I mean. (That little bit there was dedicated to Nicole.) Can't think of much else to say, except that I really don't care about Buddha, it's like, please! Shut up! I can't take it anymore!

Oh yes - Gwen Stefani. Can you believe her? I loved No Doubt. They rocked my (orange) socks! Seriously! Then she went and quit because she thinks she's better than all that. Seriously, that's gonna come back and bite her in the ass. Now she hangs out with the Japanese. What is up with that? I mean, look what they did to Roboguapo in that coke ad!! (I was going to have a picture, but I couldn't find the link.)

[listening to: "What You Waiting For?" Gwen Stefani]


1 can bleed like me
7:42 PM



Sunday, January 30

"Don't ask questions."

I had a very odd dream last night. Anna gave me her talking goldfish to watch while she was in Costa Rica, and I was all, "Okay!" Then I had to put them in wineglasses (for whatever reason), and they died, and I had to go to Costa Rica to give Anna the bad news. So I went to the bus stop with my dad and my sister, but instead of a bus, there were these floating swans, you know, like the ones in theme parks, those little boats. So we got on those, and all of a sudden the street stopped and we were falling into the river for like, a million feet. So we floated down the river when all of a sudden a giant ferry boat was coming our way so we had to turn around, and Rachel was on the boat, and she was yelling something in Hebrew, so I yelled back, "I only speak Mandarin!" and then she fell of the ferry and into the river, but I couldn't save her, because the swan was on autopilot. But my dad and my sister stayed to help the ferry, and I went down the river until I got to a mountain, and Henry was there, and I was all, "Do you have any guns?" and he said, "Don't ask questions,", and gave me a P-90, and I said, "I have to shoot the Green Fairy." And suddenly I was on top of the mountain with Cecily, and we were talking about buffalo, and all of a sudden she turned into the Green Fairy, and pushed me off the mountain.

Seriously, what the FUCK goes on in my mind? But anyway, I really need to get back to work. Cya!

[listening to: "Hyphy" Federation]


0 can bleed like me
12:33 AM



Saturday, January 29

Mmm, watermelon!

Today is totally gonna suck, I can tell you right now. No friends are coming over, I'm not going anywhere but piano, I gotta do my homework, blah, I'm not even going to South Dakota! How's that for tragic?

Anyway, I actually had fun last night, when I was talking to Nicole and Cecily. Nicole and I want to get shirts that say "Japanese" on them, just so people will look at us funny. And she totally snuck over to Francisco's house to take pictures. Cecily and I started Skittle and Beamer's Skittle Ranch - Harvested by Buffalo, located in scenic South Dakota.

However, that buffalo thing got out of hand, because Anna's friends were like, "SAY YOUR GENDER NOW!" and Cecily was all, "BUFFALO!" I seriously fell out of my seat laughing.

Darma: Are you crazy? He can't even walk erect!

Bush: It's about the erec- election in Iraq.

[listening to: "We Like Dem Girls" by People who like girls]


0 can bleed like me
10:50 AM



Friday, January 28

Hansel, so hot right now, Hansel!

Michael Bluth: hes a punk
Michael Bluth: lets set his home ablaze

I'm watching the news right now. It's terrifying me. That's all I have to say on that subject.

Today was pretty "interesting". Had...well, ya know what? I don't feel like talking about it. I'm bored of discussing my days. Bored, I tell you! Maybe I will post later. Or not. Or whatever. I don't even care.

Oh yeah - during writing, we had this HILARIOUS time...sorry Cara, gilarious...

Teacher H: This poem is about sex, and the guitar is a metaphor for a woman...Does anyone in here play guitar?
Aleks: (raises his hand)
Teacher H: I thought so.
(everyone starts laughing hard)

Oh yeah, and I'm sorry if I "misquote" anyone here...

Milli: (mockingly) You bitch!

Well, whatever. Hopefully, talk to y'all later!

[listening to: "Breathe, Stretch, Shake" Mace&PDiddy]


0 can bleed like me
6:31 PM



Thursday, January 27

Look! A Mercedes!

To be honest, I think it's kind of crazy that some people are named Mercedes. I'd think it'd be a perfectly normal name if I didn't already have that association with a car. I mean, how would you like to be named Chevrolet or Toyota?

Today was pretty good. Had Math first, which was muy tragic. I can't count the number of times I've been this close to falling asleep completely. It's not that the subject is boring, (well, maybe it is...) it's that the room is so warm, and I sit in a cramped space, and I just start falling asleep when Teacher W starts to lecture us. It's quite out of control. During break, Cara and Kelly and I went downstairs and drew all over the board...we made a message for Nicole because she wasn't getting out of her interview until later.

The rest of my day went by pretty quickly. Blah, Wheaties box, "Now we don't have to play defense!", Writing, Lunch, wrestling match, Flex, then we went to go plant stuff or whatever, and Maria decided she (a) wants to be a hairdresser, or (b) wants to work in a sex shop. (I'm desperately trying to convince her of the former, besides, she seems to be good at cutting hair! I mean, from what I can tell by looking at the grass...)

Alex wore my sweatshirt. It was so Ghetto, it was out of control. (When I say "ghetto", I mean Men's medium on a 5'2" petite person. If you can't imagine what that looks like, well, it went down to her knees.) On the way to weight training, Francisco tried to push me in front of a Mercedes (hence my title.). Freako. Haha, I'm just playin'. (Which is what I said really loudly during the presentation...Alex laughed for like, a year.)

Rachel: Wow, your sweatshirt is really soft!
Me: (feels hood) Wow, it is!
Katherine: Get out of my hood!

Good times. I miss the retirement center. (Or at least walking up thurr in the rain, playing with fortune tellers, "where's my gnome?", Rachel's ridiculous obsession with finding pennies while she's sheltering three other people with the umbrella, and if you don't know, that involves Katherine, Cara, and me chasing Rachel around. Remember the time Katherine stole the umbrella? GOLLY. I miss my old advisory.)

Jack: I wish I were Cisco, because then I'd be really hot.
Me: (falls over laughing)
Francisco: What??
Jack: Never mind, just pretend I'm Cecily.
Me: Because you two are sooo alike.
Jack: Hells yeah, biatch! (to Francisco) Hey, Cisco.
Francisco: (looks at hand) Hey...(looks at hand again) Cecily!
Jack: Wanna go to the bathroom?

I guess that was only funny to the three of us, but I'd probably forget it otherwise. (for those of you who don't know, Jack is incredibly white. And crazy. I don't even want to know what goes on inside his head. )

Andrew: Emma's over there!
Jack: No she isn't. But don't forget, you're the only one for me, Andrew!

[listening to: "Jerk it Out" Caesars]


0 can bleed like me
8:24 PM



Wednesday, January 26

"It was all Francisco's fault, I swear!"

(Which is what Anna screamed after she threw a softball at Cecily.)

Today was pretty okay. Got to school, felt tired, had Writing, tried not fall asleep, then Flex, got like, NO work done, then Lunch, which was Pizza, and I got thurr late because I was hanging with Anna who wanted to go to the Club 18 dance in March, and I was like, "um, you're a few months off."

Jordan: I would be in weight training, but I already have abs of steel.

I Think y'all can ignore the grammar there.

Then Physics, I was so tired, then Hum, drugs! Then weight training, called Andrew an ewok, walked down with Cecily and Kelly... the end!

I really didn't have an interesting day, guys. And I think I accidentally joined the soccer team. (Just like Anjali, who accidentally joined the basketball team.) I'm probably gonna be the worst on the team, I haven't played since 6th grade, and I'm totally NOT agressive whatsoever. Great. Well, y'all still have to come to my games! Especially if they're against your school. (That was directed at Katherine and Rachel, who read my blog and actually go to schools I'd play.) I'm not gonna have a social life in the spring, what between Soccer and Softball and Piano...except when I go to that Club 18 dance...and do you know who's gonna be thurr? My mexian brother.

Derek Zoolander: They were like my brothers. I don't mean brother like actual brother, but in the way black people say it. I think it's more meaningful that way.

[listening to: "My Prerogative" Britney Spears]


0 can bleed like me
8:09 PM



Tuesday, January 25

I am a big white...man! I knew it!

Today was seriously one of the more dull days of school. (Mainly because I was half asleep for most of it...) Anyway, had Flex, boooring, except in the second half Cara and I visited the Physics class, and Cecily introduced me as "Emma who goes to Bay and can't eat eggs." Which, of course, started Francisco laughing like a fucking maniac*, and it really isn't funny because I could die. Anyway, their class is so far ahead, because I have Annie and Henry in mine. Anyyyyway, then after Lunch we had drugs (ha, ha, ha! Just Playin'.) and we were talking about alcohol and pot...

Nicole W: Yeah, and we could bring our friends Mary and Johanna along secretly in our back packs!

Yeah, 7H was a great advisory...sorta...Bunnicula! Yeah, Betsy and Alessandra get me. Barugala! Hahaha. Anyway. Then I had Math, and STUPID David Arslanian wouldn't open the damn window, it was so hot in thurr, and I almost fell asleep. (Bill did fall asleep, actually...)

[listening to: "Beautiful" FlickerStick]


0 can bleed like me
5:09 PM



Monday, January 24

Ignore the noise in the background, I'm playing with marbles.

Oh my jeebus, you guys, it's Anjali and Rachel's b-day! Happy birthday, you guys!

Today we had a late start, so that meant I got to sleep in until 8. I seriously think that every day should start at 11, so I can sleep. Anyway, took the bus with Cara and Jack to school, got thurr, and hung out with Alex, then had morning meeting, saw Fran's haircut, had Physics, then Lunch, then Drug Man came and talked to us about, well, drugs. The Drug Man had ADD, which was very funny, because we watched him watch the cars on the freeway.

Katherine: We're missing English?! I love drugs!!

Tee hee hee. The whole thing was fun and funny (except for "lift-off!"), but I really missed the Burkies. I was reminded of Brenda "What? It's in a pot?" DrugLady. Anyway, then I had math, 84%, Baby! I am very proud of myself, considering people were getting like, 60%. Anyway, then writing, blaaaaah, then weight training, I biked 6 miles, yay! And I wore my "For the Jew in you" tshirt from Saturday.

[listening to: "Hyphy" Federation]


0 can bleed like me
5:18 PM



Sunday, January 23

Oh, that Captain Scuttles!

I'd totally rather be blogging than doing this stupid Hum homework.

Eli's Dad has a very bad attention span. Granted, it's not as short as mine or Anna's, but it's pretty amusing...

"I mean, what's a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon?"
"Saturday."
"Oh, thanks Emma, Sunday afternoon..."
"Saturday...you said it again!"
"Oh."

That's not as funny on screen, but it was pretty hilarious when it happened. Ok, now I'm gonna go back to work. *cries*

Random Parent Who's Life Basically Sucks But She's Optimistic About It: HONEY! You won't believe this…but I got my job back! And guess what?! Your dad and I? We're getting back together! Amazing, huh? Eleven years of brutal divorce and now viola…we're having another kid! You're a big brother now, you big boy! Oh…and I forgot to mention great grandma, you know, the one we all missed so dearly? Well, guess what?! She came back from the dead!
Scum: Oh.

[listening to: "Duality" Slipknot]


0 can bleed like me
3:33 PM



Frosted Flakes, they're grrrreat! Seeing William, that's grrrreat!

(BTW, that title is just a huge joke. It was not grrrreat in any sense. It was terrifying.)

Yesterday was my birthday, so I'm officially 15. Went to a softball clinic at 9 in the morning until 12, then went to another softball thing at Treasure Island at 2. That one was nicer, because I saw Amelia and Juliana and Lana and even Megan. Also saw Eli and Julia, and they had made me a cake, so that was nice. (It tasted a little like coffee, but I didn't really have a problem with that.)

After that, I went home and straightened (shut up, I can't spell to save my life) my hair and went to the Club 18 dance with Cara. When we got there, like everyone I knew was at the front of the line - Nicole, Rachel, Katherine, Cecily, Anna, Maria, and her friend Kira. So basically my night started off with Cecily and Cara, then when Cec had to leave (because she was being chased by the mob and had to go get her refrigerator), I hung out with Anna and Rachel. Nicole and Katherine were downstairs a lot, because Nicole had a "very bad experience" with this guy, and I don't want to scar anyone for life, but it kinda has to do with the "two and a half hours" thing. (Oops, too late, I just scarred myself!)

And now I have to go because I have to do all my homework. Cya!

[listening to: "Na Na-Na Na" Nelly]


0 can bleed like me
1:09 PM



Saturday, January 22

I'm scared of squirrels because they have big eyes.

Julianna is so wierd. Well, first off, I'd like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself right now, I have 10 more minutes until I turn 15, aren't you guys just PROUD of me? My parentals gave me these awesome shoes that I'm wearing right now, and they're so pretty, and I love them, and my sister got me this really cool bracelet, I'm also wearing that, wow this is a very ungrammatical sentence, Teacher H would KILL me, whatever. Okay, I'm gonna be out for the rest of the night, so...yeah. Talk about that later.

Today I had Softball all day. Whatever, talk about that later also.

[listening to: "Tempted To Touch" Rupi]


0 can bleed like me
6:01 PM



Friday, January 21

I'm just being Honest!

Today actually rocked. First off, I found Meg's journal type thingy, I'll add it to my links in like a second...So I'm just going to quote from it, because basically that was our Physics class.

Me: I wish I were jewish
Meg: Me too!
Me: I want a Bat Mitzvah
Meg: I want Latkes
Me: I can't eat those they have eggs
Alex: The cookies have eggs?!?!?!
Annie: Stop eating those you'll die!
Me: Not the cookies, Latkes!
Henry: Vodka? who has vodka?

Sometimes I just wonder what the hell goes on in our school. Well, first I had Hum, blah blah, research stuff, the usual. Then Math, did I get work done? No. Don't count on it. Then Lunch, let's just quote Maria and sum everything up..."Andrew! Teach me how to strip!!" Yeah, Cecily and I were like, crying...

"Don't leave me alone with them, you! I don't even have my refrigerator with me!"

Yeah, so, then Writing...corrections, corrections, corrections. Well, at least I got a B+ on my essay about Animal Research! Yay! And I had a totally crap conclusion. Whatever. Then Physics, which, aforementioned, was the CRAZIEST class ever! Especially when Meg decided that she glowed, and that people who didn't glow just weren't cool. Anyway...

All day I got birthday greetings and whatnot. Anna gave me a great CD that I loooove, Henry sang me a song, Frannie promised me money (although I don't know where he's getting all of that $$$, how's he gonna save up for that bullet proof glass for his special pen?), and yeah.

And here's another story... During Lunch, Cara decided that the precepts were wrong, because really, how could you be kind and honest at the same time? [cue laughter]

[listening to: "What's Love" Ashanti]


0 can bleed like me
5:32 PM



Thursday, January 20

I'm thinkin'...onions.

A random conversation snippit that I think all will enjoy...

Lightning3615: let me rephrase that more ghettoly
hotpinkavocado: ghettoly
Lightning3615: you best not start trippin foo

[listening to: "Baby It's You" JoJo]


0 can bleed like me
8:09 PM



You're on crack?!

It's Flex, and I'm bored. Because they decided to have flex at a different time, I have nothing to do! I even read my book. La, la, la, what happened today? Nothing. Bascially. Fran taught Maria how to swear in Spanish, probably not a good idea, but isn't hindsight always 20-20? (We'll split it 55- 55.) So, here's this little quote while I go rot in this stupid chair until I go home at 2:45. (I have a doctors appointment!)

Teacher D: I guess I was on crack when I wrote problem 6...
(15 minutes later...literally)
Me: You were on crack?!
Teacher D: That was possibly the slowest reaction time ever.
Alex: You were on crack?!

Yeah, so it's later right now, and this flex is insanely boring. But it's fun to watch people. From where I'm sitting, I can see pretty much everyone, (if Anna would move her big head!) Yeah, so if I look directly across from me, I see Brian and Roxi doing their "math homework", aka throwing the book at each other, and Jack in these...ski glasses, I guess. And Kelly just put on these earings of mine...yeah, and Cara is like dancing in her seat. Ok, cya!

[listening to: ''1985" Bowling For Soup]


0 can bleed like me
1:54 PM



Wednesday, January 19

That's hot!

Have you guys who are living in San Francisco (no, not Ojai or the Czech Republic) noticed that it's been really really really cold lately? Tuesday it was freezing and the heat was off, and anyone that knows me knows that my back starts to hurt really bad when it gets cold. I don't even know why. Well, I was just downstairs and I was freezing, and my back hurt and I couldn't stop my legs from shaking, and it was awful. Then I went upstairs to "do my homework" (you can't tell, but I'm coughing. Cough, cough.) and it's so warm, I'm leaning against a heater and my back is burning like a mother! (haha). Anyway, today was kinda fun...

First I had writing. BOooooring! I haven't had it since last Friday, though. Can't remember what we did, but I'm pretty sure it was boring. We didn't even study the Greeks, and I like that kind of stuff. Then Flex, and I feel sooo bad for Anna! Also, any Burkies going to the Club 18 dance on Saturday? Yeah, I know thats my Birthday...it's gonna be like a giant party! Because you really need to calll me now! Because I decided I wanted to go. After Flex and Lunch (in which I sat with Cecily, Carina, Kelly, Maria, Maylin, Cara, and Fran around a heater) I had Physics, which was amazing. Teacher M was giving out egg-full stuff, and I was like, great, can't eat that. And then...

Henry: Hey Emma, I have an idea. Why don't you take a bite and see if you die?
Me: Hey Henry, I have an idea. Why don't you shove it down your throat and see if you die?

It was totally well timed and everything! I think I may be a genius. (Haha, just a little.) After that, Humanities. Maria and I made all these analogies with rocket ships and garages. Then Weight Training, boooring, I ran a lot of the way, gross, Anna was totally out of it for the whole class, haha, we kicked those losers out of the squash room, and like, danced. Blah, blah, blah. And that was my day!

REMEMBER TO CALL ME, THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE GOING TO THE DANCE! (mainly Nicole and Rachel)

[listening to: "Suga Suga" Baby Bash (gotta love that song)]


0 can bleed like me
7:07 PM



Tuesday, January 18

A peaching preach. I mean, a preaching peach!

Thank GOD today wasn't Monday! I hate Mondays. (We have all our classes and no free's. Gross.) Anyway, started off with Flex. Wrote directions for Anna to go to the game, and they were amazingly simple*...

1) Walk to bus stop.
2) Wait for bus.
3) Don't talk to perverted man in trenchcoat. (I didn't actually make that up...)
4) Get on bus.
5) Make sure it's the right bus.
6) Get transfer.
7) Sit down.

And so on. Then had Physics, blah blah blah booooring. We didn't have a break again, I think Teacher M is losing his mind. He actually asked me, "What the hell CAN you eat?" and Milli and I like, passed out in laughter. Anyway, then had lunch, told Kelly what Nicole and I did yesterday (with the phones), but it involved a LOT of lying, and it was so funny. Then I had Hum, boring, wrote lots of emails to Maria, (BTW, where's Anjali?? Sorry, its just that she's a little OBSESSED with Maria. Tee hee!) blah blah blah. Then Math, and I called people monsters and Alex and I talked about how our sisters are obsessed with Green Day when they really shouldn't be, those posers.

[listening to: "St. Jimmy" Green Day]


0 can bleed like me
5:26 PM



Monday, January 17

"You think you're too cool for school, but I have news for you, Walter Cronkite...you're not!"

Went to the movies with Nicole. We saw "In Good Company", and I know what you're thinking, Topher Grace can't act for shit, but he was hilarious! (Mucho mas mejor than "Win a date with Tad Hamilton". I actually didn't see that movie, but in my advisory last year, we decided that Katherine wasn't going to win a date with Tad Hamilton. Or am I the only one who remembers that?) Anyway, the movie was hilarious!

"Oh, Buddy had a friend...but he ate him."
"You're jumpy this morning. Did they switch your mocha with crack?"
"If you ever give my daughter an alcoholic beverage of any sort, I will hunt you down and neuter you." (That one I like, passed out in laughter.)
"Is it a thousand degrees in here, or is it just me? Ha, ha, heh, heh...it's just me."

I can't think of anything more, but there was a part about a machine, and the theater was like silent, and we screamed "ROBOT!" so loud. Laughed at bad Walter Cronkite jokes, and oh yes, Nicole called Andrew V.

(First call) "Hey, it's Kelly... yeah... why wouldn't your girlfriend have your cell number!... oh... Andrew H? (hangs up) It was the wrong one!"
(Second call) "Hey, it's Kelly. Can you believe this? I called the wrong Andrew! (long pause)... (hangs up) It was the wrong one again!"

[listening to: "Hey Ya" Outkast]


0 can bleed like me
6:40 PM



"Look, guys, we're on drugs!"

Momentary hilariosity from Youth Group, when we went on the "Alice in Wonderland" ride. (And no, it's not just a catholic thing.) Hee hee, I say that like I'm in the Youth Group. I'm not. Anyway, thanks to all the lovely people who said they still read my blog, (namely Alessandra, Vicky, and Francisco. By the way, don't even trick me into thinking that you're more than one person, Paco. I know who you are! AND I know where you live!)

So, I'm gonna be out all day. Well, not really. I have homework to be doing, but I don't even care. IGNORE MY LAST POST, EXCEPT FOR THE BLUE PART. THAT SHOULD JUST MAKE Y'ALL LAUGH.

[listening to: "Megalomaniac" Incubus]


0 can bleed like me
9:58 AM



Sunday, January 16

Sorry.

I'm sorry, you guys, but I can't continue this blog. Oh, more like, I don't WANT to continue this blog. I like writing in it, but it feels like a wasted effort if only three people read it - Eli, Nicole, and Betsy. (I'm sorry if anyone else reads it too, but I only seem to be getting recognition from those three.) Oh yes, and Alex. But I don't know you. So, I might change my mind tomorrow and just delete this post, or whatever, but don't count on it. So, adieu, adios, ttyl, email me at my school email if you really want me to continue this, but until then...

The ironic thing about pool parties is that no one stays in the pool. It's all about the hot tub. If you aren't in the hot tub, you just aren't in. You aren't sizzlin'. You aren't smokin'. You aren't hot. You aren't even cool. You're just.....lukewarm. Old oatmeal. Mushy cereal. The next round of Bachelor episodes. You're just a lame-o doing the doggie paddle on top of a noodle.
Aka me.
Not that i care or anything. I'm down with the noodles. I'm even down with being lukewarm. Hey, you could even say i'm down with doing the doggie paddle. But what i'm not down with is Go-Gurt. I never truly realized how nasty that stuff is. I mean, when i think yogurt, i think cylinder container filled with about an ounce of creamy, dairy goodness. When i think Go-Gurt, i think strawberry flavored Rocket Power kids sweat. Even Dannon's Drinkable Yogurt is better than that stuff. I mean, at least it's called yogurt. But i wouldn't mind a little sample of the solid kind.
I also wouldn't mind being a Hottubber. But we all know that's never going to happen.
So yea, i went to a pool party tonight. And i spent about three fourths of it IN the pool. It kind of reminded me of this one time in second grade. The teacher asked the class if it were true or false that flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp. I raised my hand for true. I was the only one. Everyone else was all like "False, you moron." And even though i KNEW that i was right, the little Falsos sort of put a dent in my ego for a spilt second. I mean, maybe i was wrong. Maybe the Falsos really knew their stuff. Maybe i was a moron. Maybe flamingos were pink for other reasons besides eating shrimp.
But like i said, it only dented my ego for a split second. As it turned out, i was right. And i got a gold star that day for 'sticking with my gut feeling', or as i liked to put it 'making the Falsos eat their words'.
So i did it again. I stayed in the pool. Screw the majority. I was invited to a pool party and therefore i would party in the pool. Not in the hottub. Not by the little artificial waterfall thing. Not by that box of munchkins. The pool. Noodles and all.
I guess not sticking with the majority isn't always the greatest way to go. It takes a lot of courage. But it sure as hell makes you feel like less of a follower. And even if no one else copies your polka dot speedo look, it doesn't mean you aren't a winner. If you stick with your gut feeling, if you truly believe that polka dot speedos are the hip and happenin' thing, then by golly go for it. Wear that polka dot speedo like you never will again. Dance to that Ricky Martin Song. Eat that tripe. Hey, and while you're at it, jump in that pool. Because, hell yes, you are a winner.

[listening to: "How to be dead" Snow Patrol]


0 can bleed like me
5:26 PM



"Ye may be gettin' wet!"

Just went and read everyone's post about the memorial service for Grace. Felt really sad, and started to cry, and then felt really bad that while everyone was crying and feeling sad, I was probably on the "Indiana Jones" ride, screaming my head off like the crazy I am.

Speaking of that, I went to Disney Land on Saturday. Spent the entire day at the park - from when it opened to its closing. Made me sad that Maylin and Vicky H weren't there, because I met all of Cara's friends from Youth Group, mainly Noelle, Kachina, Thomas, and Eleanor, who I had already met. The rides were fun, especially "The Matterhorn" (sorry, the MAD horn), and "Indiana Jones" and "Pirates of the Caribbean", which were the three rides Cara and I went on three times. Yeah, in "Pirates" we were the only two people on the boat and it was hilarious, because we sang the "HO SONG" and ate brains and threw ourselves over the entire boat.

Well, that's all for now. I'm still in the middle of watching "Zoolander", and I must say, I'm dying of laughter. And now a quote from Daryl's blog, because everyone seems so sad, (myself included), wish I the memorial service was next weekend, OH, um, not really, because that's my birthday. Well, I wish I could've gone. You guys, call me on my cell!

Now that i think about it, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. When the doctors and school nurses and people of higher authority than i used to tell me that, i'd just laugh in their calcium enhanced faces and cram two slices of pizza in my mouth. Stick it to the man, i thought. Rebel! Eat pancakes for dinner! Have dessert first! Drink coffee right before hitting the sack! And if i could, i truly would go back in time. And hit myself. With like...a bowl of oatmeal or something.

[watching: "Zoolander" ]


0 can bleed like me
4:21 PM



Friday, January 14

The story is about Henry electrocuting himself.

Well, today was interesting. Worried about Maylin, the whole school did. (Okay, I forgot what I was going to say, but I was too lazy to delete everything, so I just sort of finished the sentence.) There was a game at ISA today, and I really wanted to go, but I didn't, so...yeah. First I had Hum, boring, then Math, boring, but gave gum to Alex, and she loves it, and kept asking for more, even though I didn't have anymore, then Lunch, and can you believe Cecily's advisory? I sure can't! I have to clean for them. I only do it because of Cecily and I get to eat cookies! Then I had Writing, and it was booooring, and Kate and Justine were thurr, did I mention? No. I guess not. Well, they were thurr. Um, I guess that's all I have to say. Then I had Physics, and instead of taking that stupid quiz, I wanted to watch "Star Wars", because Teacher M has the DVD set! Yeah I think y'all would rather watch that then blather on about light waves. And during WT, the plot thickened. It's like, fourty feet wide!

Well, that's all until Sunday. I'm gonna be gone all of Saturday and the rest of tonight. I'm gonna be partying! If you're really desperate to talk to me, y'all can call me before 10. Okay, cya when I get back!

[listening to: "Did You Miss Me" Petey Pablo]


0 can bleed like me
6:29 PM



I can't do ANYTHING right!!

Aww, poor Anna. (that's all I have to say on that matter.) Well, yesterday was far too long. First I had Math, and Cara and I started giggling like, 10 minutes into the class. I don't even remember what we were laughing about. Something stupid, I bet. Then Writing, and I found my house on a map on Fran's computer, and I told everyone this dream I had...

Well, I was in a boat. And there were these pelicans, and they were pissing me off so much, because they kept swooping down and attacking me, so I took out my cannon and shot them.

(This could be considered a very sad or very happy dream, but either way, I woke up laughing.)

Then Flex, boooring, but I finished my book! Then Gathering. Blahhhh. Then I walked down to Weight Training with Fran, Anna, and Cecily. But Cecily and I weren't actually going, so she walked me to the bus stop (after we made Anna and Fran like 10 minutes late) so I could go to the orthadontist ("Ha, ha!"). Good news, I'm getting my braces off in the summer! Anyway, after wandering around Laurel Village for a while, I went home, then went to the UHS/Bay game.

Saw Anjali, Vicky, Katherine M, and Cecilia. Dropped like, the world under the bleachers and had to crawl under to get it. The scariest thing happened, though, I think that Maylin had an asthma attack, and she couldn't breathe very well, so I don't think she's going with us tomorrow. Anyway, that was yesterday. Will blog tonight about what happened today.

[listening to: "Friends like Mine" The Donnas]


0 can bleed like me
7:31 AM



Wednesday, January 12

I'll get you a big yellow joint!

Gotta love Henry. I can't for my birthday, I wonder what he'll get me...prolly a banana. I hate bananas. Anyway, today was exhausting, I woke up like, two hours early and couldn't get back to sleep. First, I had Writing, and it was boring, blah blah blah, y'all know the drill. Then Flex, blah blah, y'all know...then Lunch, which was like, eating plastic. Gugh. After that, Physics. blah. I don't even know why I'm talking about this if it was so boring! Hum. Boring. Had shadow. Nice. Stole Cara's scarf. Fishy. Her scarf. Not Cara. That's just mean.

Then we went to Weight Training. I have never had more fun walking to the gym ever. So I was walking with Cara, then she just dumped me, so I had to "walk on the edge". Aka, the street. So every time a car would come by, Fran and Cecily and Andrew would be all, "YOU GON GIT KILLLLED!" or something like that. Actually, Cecily was more like, cowgirl. Ya know? She's from South Dakota. Anyway, I was acting as an armrest for Cecily, until we walked through a ditch and decided to stop that. Then she dared me to run, but I didn't want to, so I tried to steal her bag, and we would race, but Anna came up and was all, "Woman, you're killing her." It was so funny. Then when we got to the gym, and started our "stretching", I decided that Francisco and I need guns to shoot at pigeons. Then I cut my knee. On a yoga mat. How retarded can you get? Then later my hand started bleeding. I don't know how this works. I think I may be leaking. Anyway, back to the story. Owww, I just twisted my ankle and it hurts like five bitches on a bitch boat! Okay, I'm done. My story? Finished. Except for the "Assisted Chinese", but that's another story.

I was gonna do some philisophical thinking on this post, but then I decided...hells no! I don't have time for that shit! So, I'm not. The end! Oh yeah, and guys? I am officially the Queen of the Robots!

[listening to: "Milkshake" Kelis]


0 can bleed like me
7:16 PM



Tuesday, January 11

And another thing...

This is like the third time I've edited this entry. This time, it's about Star Wars. Okay, the original three may be uber cheezy, but if you've ever watched them as a kid, it's just AMAZING to watch Luke blow up (first of all, ERM, second of all, I mean explode) the Death Star (I mean, how many people do you know that blew up a Death Star? Not many!), or get a robot hand (He probably cried robot tears also), or see Ewoks, or see space ships, or Chewbacca...golly, I'm going over all these movies, and I'm realizing how great they are! That's why I want the DVD's for my birthday.

As for the newer movies. Well, "The Phantom Menace" was good, except for that UGLY-ASS rat-tail, (which should go unnamed, forget I mentioned it), and Darth Maul. Could that ugly man get any scarier?? Put a post on my tag board if you agree. "The Attack of the Clones", while a "pelican" (not stealing any jokes, this is what Nicole told me to call him) looked much much better, there was no plot. NOTHING happened. And for the third one? "Revenge of the Sith"? I CAN'T WAIT AT ALL! I'M DYING! AHHHH

"It's just turkey", my mom said into the phone a few minutes ago as she gave one of her quick half-smiles, "Making it relaxes me. I mean, what's the worst that could happen with that kind of thing?"
A few hours later, our house was engulfed in angry flames. "The 'burbs are going down," the firey pits of hell said as they relocated into our kitchen. As the fire spread, our neighbors screamed, ran for their dear lives. Some pulled a quick Dolly Madison and ran back inside their houses to retrieve their most valuable possessions. Like their children's ADD medication and Channel purses. Children just stood dumbstruck in the middle of the frosty streets, clutching their teddy bears, sucking their thumbs. "Mommy? Are we living in a reinactment of 'To Kill a Mockingbird'?"
"Don't think so" said their parents in response as they, too, watched the remainder of our house collapse, the ashes spreading over and destroying anything nearby, including the brand new corvette in the driveway next door. "Rats, now i only have seven." said the owner of the vehicle.
The ashes of our former house spread as quickly as a rumor all throughout town. People we weren't even associated with drove by just to tell us that they were having nearly fatal coughing fits. That they couldn't breathe. They couldn't see anything over three feet away. That, dare i say it, their furniture was collecting massive amounts of dust.
Twenty-four hours later, on black Friday, no more complaints rebounded off the nonexistant walls of our home. Because by then, everyone was dead.
"Damn," Mom said as she continued to brush the crusty ashes out of her hair, "I burnt the turkey." (Daryl)

[listening to: "A Man and a Woman" U2]


0 can bleed like me
7:49 PM



Run, Emma, run away! On second thought, I'll run with you.

Today was an epitome of gilariosity. I don't even know if you can say that, but I did. So get over it. Today started off kinda lame, we had flex first, but I didn't really work. I did, however, run to the end of the hall and listen to Cara and Anna scream about...something, and make my mouse a dancing mouse! (Mousal). Then I had Physics, and I mocked Henry for a while, and that got old fast, but, never miss a good chance to make fun of Henry! Anyway, then I had lunch. Advisory. Booooring.

Then Anna, Cara, Maylin and I went and lay in the lockers. Teacher H was wondering if Cara's family actually has chairs, because every time he sees Cara, she's on the floor. The real hilarity was when we started talking about Fran, and I was saying something, (can't remember what), and all of a sudden he runs up and kicks me. I freaked out, because I thought it was Maylin, but it wasn't, and he didn't even know we were talking about him! He just did it for no reason. He physically assaulted me. Are you getting that? I hope you are. It's important.

After that we had Hum, and Cailin and I drew little dancing men, mocked Henry some more, and blah, blah, blah. After that I had Math. BORING. We had a quiz, and I wasn't really into it, because I spelled "focused" "focusd", after saying that I was "FOCUSED, DAMMIT!" I should watch what I say. THEN during break, Kelly and I were hanging with Fran and Cecily, and the most hilarious part was... Okay, you have to picture it. Kelly's by a wall, Fran's to her right, and Cec and I are leaning on each other. Cecily has these jangly bracelets on.

Kelly: ...And that's why I laughed.
Me: Really?
Kelly: Yes.

But that wasn't the hilarious part! (Sorry, I got a little Masterpiece Theature on ya'll.)

Fran: So during basketball practice, do you take all of those off? (he's talking about the bracelets, you pervs.)
Cecily: Yes.
Kelly: WHAT???? (falls over laughing)
Everyone else: What?
Kelly: HORNY!!!!
Fran: (gets really red and walks away)
Cecily and I: WHOA! (start laughing)
Kelly: (in between breaths) I... didn't see.... the bracelets!!

Yeah, and then I got to go right back home after school. It was nice. OH YES! And I finally got a Livestrong today! I've finally conformed! It's so nice to have a friend who's dating a rich little man. (Aka, Kelly and Andrew.) I have to go, I'm supposed to be writing an essay. It's probably too long anyway. I spent like, 20 minutes on this post! What is wrong with me?

[listening to: "Miracle Drug" U2]


0 can bleed like me
7:32 PM



Monday, January 10

"Don't remember what H20 + NaCl is? Well, I'm sorry to hear that you Hopeless Retardo."

Isn't that funny? I've never met her, but Daryl is gilarious! Anyway, the day was so boring because I was so tired, it was just out of control. Someone took down my "gilarious" poster, "You can't tell but I'm laughing", and the other drama was out of control. (Part of it was about Mikhail and Anna, and the other part was about Fran and Cec.) Can't think of much to say, I'll probably think of something incredible later. So, without further ado, I'm off to finish my essays. I leave you with this quote from Daryl...

"Dr. Citrin is also one of those cheesy adults that replace all curse words with different types of food and weapons. Shit transforms into Sugar. Son of a Bitch turns into Son of a Gun. Crap changes to Cracker. And I swear I once heard him replace Oh Fuck with Oh Muffin."

[listening to: "Flat on the Floor" Nickleback]


0 can bleed like me
7:59 PM



Sunday, January 9

"Hello, I am Satan!"

So today started off boring, and then was helaciousally fun by the time I got home. I went and worked at the open house, and I was the only student there, because Cameron didn't show up. So I had to do everything myself. But it was still awesome, because I was talking to these hella tight girls, Nina and Katie, and Nina was from Holland, but she moved to Marin. And Katie was from Marin, so...anyway, they were still really cool. The class of 2009 is gonna be off the hook!

Then I went to a dinner party for Michelle, my softball coach, who's leaving for Arizona for a few months. It was hilarious, because I saw Eli, Juliana, and Erin, and I hadn't seen those randoms in such a long time! We were wigger chipmonks, (is it chipmonks, or chipmunks? oh, I'm just asking because I don't wanna look it up.) Then we called people in my phonebook, like Fran's house, and we pretended to be chinese. Then we called some one ELSE's phone, and pretended to be Satan.

So, after all that hilarity, I need to calm down. I'm gonna go watch "Star Wars IV" now (on my lapper topper!). I'm practically dying for that new movie! I can't wait, I need it now. I also need the episodes IV, V, and VI on DVD now! This wanting is out of control. Thank Jeebus it's almost my birthday!

[listening to: "I Like That" Houston]


0 can bleed like me
8:41 PM



Saturday, January 8

150 + 150 = NOT 200, shut up.

Another example of my brilliant counting skills. So yesterday was pretty fun, first I had Humanities, but that was boring, so shut up. Then I had Math, and once again Cara and I couldn't stop laughing about miniature whores and mexican elephants. And then when it was break, Kelly, Cara, and I went and jumped in the puddles. I jumped in a lake, just to get water on them.

Then we had Lunch, and there was some Mini-drama with Anna and Mikhail, but hush, it wasn't that amazing. Then we had Writing, and Fran and I just sorta sat there and laughed, because really, what else could we do when we were supposed to be working? (hahahahhohohohahahaho) Anyway, then we had Physics, and we watched Futurama and played with finger paints.

Then after weight training, I went to the boys game with Anna, Kelly, Cecily, Maylin, and Cara. The boys won! It was sooo fun, even though I had to go back to school to get my injection, and we got let in by the janitor. Then I went out to dinner with Kelly, Cara, and Maylin, at "Celia's" (Which I always end up calling Cecily's or Cecilia's). Then when I got home, I was IMing for hours, until I just suddenly burst into tears and started watching Star Wars. (Of course, I started crying again when they killed Qwi Gon, and it was out of control.)

(And Alex and I have the whole state of No Dak to ourselves!)

[listening to: "Lady Marmalade"]


0 can bleed like me
9:53 AM



Wednesday, January 5

So, my REAL post for today...

Today was a very Elephant filled day. BUT FIRST...first I had writing, and I like died of boredom. Then I had Flex, and since it was very cold I wandered around inside with Maria instead of being psycho and playing basketball or softball. (I actually need to get back into shape (for Softball) because tryouts are on the 22nd!) Then for lunch we had pizza, and since I didn't know what was in the dough, I brought my epipen down to the table and everyone wanted to play with it and experiment with it, and the conversations went from, "You got shot?" to "That's the wrong end, Maylin." to "But what about this thing infront of the needle?" "Yeah, that's why you take off the case." "Oh." to (finally) "So you can't get injected with eggs?" "No, that's why I can't have flu shots." "...So you can't get injected with eggs?"

Then during the next half hour, I hit Fran on the head, stuck a hand to Cecily's locker, and completely destroyed Cara with one word.

Me: Look! I can destroy Cara with one word. (to Cara) Elephant!
Cara: (dies)
Maylin: Well, I can destroy her with two words! (to Cara) Mexican elephant!
Cara&Me: (die some more)

Then I had physics, and we melted some more chocolate to measure Microwaves, and Henry spent the whole time making bad New Jersey jokes, and then Meg colored on her face with a highlighter. Then Humanities, which was a whole 'nother realm of boredom. AND FINALLY Weight Training, in which I spun around a lot, had Fran ask me for a piggy back to the doorway, me refuse, then decide "what the hell?" then have us be there already.

[listening to: "Bubble Pop Electric" Gwen Stefani]


0 can bleed like me
8:33 PM



...

I was going to write about my insane and hilarious day today, but I just read Alessandra's blog, and I just started sobbing. I'm so scared! If Grace, who seemed so happy all the time, can just overdose on drugs like that (or anti-depressants, I don't know, I'm a little to hysterical to go back and check), than really, almost anyone can! I don't want anyone else I know to die, or kill themselves, or anything! This whole incident made me realize how much I care for people, that I'd probably cry hysterically if someone I didn't know that well from Bay died, and I'd be completley gone if someone from Burkes died.

I feel guilty to laugh anymore. I was laughing with Cecily this morning, and I felt so guilty. I'm feeling sick, and just as a kick in the ass, I have this gi-mong-o writing assignment that he's giving us like a day to do, and I'm no where, because of this STUPID PE thing we have, and this business that just happend.

Just started listening to "Wonderwall", and started crying again. (Then Googled "elephant" and started laughing, then went back to crying.) Now I'm watching the video... there's a barbque! I can't even spell. My hand's shaking, and people are thinking it's the drugs. Well, they're wrong.

[listening to: "Wonderwall" Oasis]


0 can bleed like me
6:58 PM



Tuesday, January 4

Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle

A very funny title for a not so funny subject. I just went through all my yearbooks, looking for pictures of Grace Magil.

For all my non-Burkie's friends who read this (yeah and I know y'all do), and if you didn't speak to Milli today, a girl from my school committed suicide. According to Milli, she overdosed on painkillers (um, I think. I was a little shocked. I don't really remember.) while she was in Florida. I'm going to make my sister pay attention during her assembly tomorrow to see if they say anything about it. (However, if they say "passed away" rather than "committed suicide" to the Upper Schoolers, I might scream. I understand if they say it to the little kids...they're, well, little!)

[listening to: "Vertigo" U2]


0 can bleed like me
7:55 PM



Actual Germans

Um, wow, today was hilarious, but rather short, (thank God), and still I dont feel like talking about it. So, as I go to get $50 worth of stuff from iTunes (hehe don't worry, gift card! I am not psycho enough to spend $50 of my own money on iTunes...), I leave you with this quote that you may or may not understand, but hopefully will make you laugh.

Anna: We found out some stuff about a certain little man.
Me: Who?
Anna: Um...starts with a "V" and ends with "ocur".
Maylin: About his starts with a "B" and ends with "oner"!

[listening to: "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine" The Killers]


0 can bleed like me
5:26 PM



Kelly's Makeout Diary

I totally forgot to mention important things from yesterdAy!

1) Alex and I drove 650 mph to get to our relatives 250 miles away, because we wanted to get thurr in only 20 minutes.

2) Emily gave me her "Hope Faith Love" bracelet, which is like a pink wannabe Livstrong one, but for Breast Cancer. I guess that's kinda better for me, at least, because two of my aunts have breast cancer.

3) Francisco and I drove Andrew (v) insane after WT when we decided that he kept a diary of how many times he and Kelly made out.
Me: He counted!
Fran: Counted?
Me: Yup. "Don't tell Kelly, but I counted...it was 7 or 8."
Fran: I bet he timed too.
Me: I wouldn't be suprised.
Andrew: Shut the fuck up, you guys.

[listening to: "Vibrate" Petey Pablo]


0 can bleed like me
7:25 AM



Monday, January 3

"If I had that much clothing auctioned off, well, I'd have to go to school naked!"

Ahh, I woke up at 6 this morning, and I was really awake! I didn't fall alseep at breakfast. (On that note, I feel sorry for Cecily. She had to leave her house at 5:20! I mean, what kind of insaneo loser has to live in Navato?) And the whole day my brain was kind of in the "why is that blind girl talking?" mood. ("You'll need a written description, Emma." "What, like a passport?") And Cara posted only the most important things for the New Year on my locker, such as "gilarious", "w is evil", "lauch", and "its just wrong to PEEEEE in the GHEEEEETTO", and naturally, everyone looked at it and was all, "Um, could they be any more insane?" And we're the only ones who get it...but still, we ran away when the math class started looking...

[listening to: "Okay" Nivea]


0 can bleed like me
7:37 PM



Sunday, January 2

I guess they are too.

SO on New Years, Alessandra came over and and we watched her play, then when she had to go, I stayed up really late and watched "Star Wars" again. Then today, I went on a hike with la familia. Then, when I got home, as soon as I got on the computer I started sobbing, and I guess I'm a little out of control, (and I don't mean to be hilarious) but I don't think it's fair at all. Nicole knows what I'm talkng about. And after a while, the only thing that cheered me up was talking to Cara and being ghetto...(at least we aren't peeing in the ghetto). Hoo, I crack myself up. I'm already feeling better.

[listening to: "Elephant Love Medley" Moulin Rouge!]


0 can bleed like me
5:00 PM